"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23,24.
"A new heart also will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you. I will take the stony heart out of your flesh and give you an heart of flesh. And I will put My spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes and ye shall keep my judgments and do them." Ezekiel 36:26,27 _____I want to tell you a true story. Though sad at first, it turned out glad. To say the truth, I will be telling you a story of the changing of my own heart - the changing of my heart from not desiring God as I should, and desiring the evil things of this world, to then, hating the things of this world, and desiring and loving God!
_____It will be most hard for you to believe, but praise the Lord for not forsaking me!
_____Let me now begin.
_____For two whole weeks there was a mighty war going on in my heart. It was like I was standing on a cliff, at the very edge. I could choose to go off to death, (the things of this world) or to turn around and run to the safety of the Mighty Rock, Jesus Christ!
_____I realized I needed to stop playing Christian, that I needed to either be one in heart and soul or not be one at all. Satan was putting lies in my head, like: "If you surrender all to Christ you won't be able to do all these 'fun' things. You would be missing out on 'real life.'" But then the Lord would speak to my heart: "Child, there is true happiness and fun walking with Me!" I kept going back and forth. Do I choose to throw God and a Christian life out the door and live for the world, or throw the world out the door and live for God? That was a question that was warring.
_____I stopped having morning devotions(stopped eating spiritually); I hardly prayed. All that would fill my mind was me telling myself made up stories and thinking of movies I've seen. (I'm even now ashamed to write so.)
_____I finally didn't want anything to do with God and the Bible. (Most terrible thing.) I turned my back. I was shocked at myself when I got the desire to watch something I would have never dreamed of watching before. The war kept going on.
_____No one would have known, for I just put this pretty smile on my face and acted like everything was go lucky good. (Terrible, isn't it?) But I knew I was miserable. My heart was longing for something. I thought that in forsaking a Christian walk with God, I would maybe find it. But I then realized I was terribly wrong!
_____I could feel the Lord calling me and calling me to come to Him!! At times it was most strong! I just didn't know how to go about it! I knew, yes, surrender to Him; but I just didn't have the power, the will to do so. The verse in Matthew 11:28-30 kept coming to mind: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart. And ye shall find rest unto your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light!"
_____There were times I would make a couple steps to safety, but then I would turn around and make those steps back to "death"(desire of this world).
When I finally decided to give up and stop playing Christian and throw it out the door, everything just seemed to go all terribly wrong!
_____I was washing the dishes yesterday afternoon, and I asked myself, "What is wrong with me, I'm so selfish and mean! I used to be kind and love everyone. What is going on, I'm so miserable! I thought letting go on religion would make me some how 'happy.'" Then I remembered a story I had read a couple weeks ago in a YD issue, about a girl who went through the same thing I did. But after she decided to give up being a Christian and all, and everything just seemed to go wrong, she then realized how much she needed Christ in her life, how she couldn't live without Him and be truly happy. That's what happened to me. I realized how I just was not able to live without Christ, how I need Him!! How much He truly was a big part of my every day life!! How so many times I would tell Him about something, and after doing so, how much greatly better I felt!! How much I actually talked to Him and told Him things, how much I just needed Him!!
_____I then ran away, I fled from the cliff like a lamb running away from a lion who wants to kill them, I ran to the great safety of the Mighty Rock, Jesus Christ!
_____It wasn't until then, did I have peace and great joy! It wasn't until I realized my wrong in thinking I didn't need Christ and I came back to Him, did I have the victory in the great war between choosing to live for Christ or the world.
_____Even now I smile as I think about it and look back, how God led me!
_____Also one thing that kept me from turning my back all the way from Christ was how I knew my family and friends would take it. I just couldn't break their hearts so! And most of all, Christ's!
_____Praise the Lord for never forsaking me!!!!!
_____I feel ashamed to be writing this and it all being true, but let's turn away from the fact about how terrible it was for me to want nothing to do with God for that short time and let's look at how He rescued me and picked me up from that terrible pit!! Praise Him!!
_____My joy is full, but I am not to be content, I am to grow closer to God each and everyday, spending time with Him!!
_____At this time I would like to give special thanks to two good dear friends of mine: Sister C. and Sister G. for all they have said to encourage me on the Upward Journey!! God has truly spoken greatly to me through them! Thank you girls for it all! Praise the Lord!! You both are SUCH a wonderful blessing!!
_____I want to close with a Bible verse and a poem by a fellow sojourner.
_____"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise to our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3.
Oh My Lord, Help Me Now!
Oh my Lord, oh help me now,
Help me to get through this all,
Oh how my heart longs for Thee,
Oh come so very close to me.
___That I might feel Thy presence flow,
___So close to me that I shall know,
___That You have come to rescue me
___From all my sins to make me free.
To be the one
You decided me to be.
To live that all might see
That You have come to rescue me.
___And that You would gladly do the same for them,
___If they would only ask-
___And turn to You, a loving friend
___Then they shall be rescued at last;
From all their sins and be made free,
And some day soon go to Heaven bright and free,
And see our King that loves us so abundantly!
Oh thank You Lord for helping me!
___For coming to my rescue and my plea
___Your lovingkindness is all I need.
___For Lord, if You live in me,
___I will have it all, for that's what I needed.
By Sabrina, a fellow sojourner.
November 30th, 2008.
_____The Lord changed and is still changing my heart! He will do the same for you, though sinful you may be, just turn to Him, flee from that terrible cliff, (the desires and things of this world) and run to the safety of Jesus Christ!! (saving treasures in heaven.)
_____We are on an Upward Journey to a great and glorious land, let's continue on, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, and our hand in His, each step of the way!!
_____Even so, come Lord Jesus!!
Posted by: Sister K.
_____It will be most hard for you to believe, but praise the Lord for not forsaking me!
_____Let me now begin.
_____For two whole weeks there was a mighty war going on in my heart. It was like I was standing on a cliff, at the very edge. I could choose to go off to death, (the things of this world) or to turn around and run to the safety of the Mighty Rock, Jesus Christ!
_____I realized I needed to stop playing Christian, that I needed to either be one in heart and soul or not be one at all. Satan was putting lies in my head, like: "If you surrender all to Christ you won't be able to do all these 'fun' things. You would be missing out on 'real life.'" But then the Lord would speak to my heart: "Child, there is true happiness and fun walking with Me!" I kept going back and forth. Do I choose to throw God and a Christian life out the door and live for the world, or throw the world out the door and live for God? That was a question that was warring.
_____I stopped having morning devotions(stopped eating spiritually); I hardly prayed. All that would fill my mind was me telling myself made up stories and thinking of movies I've seen. (I'm even now ashamed to write so.)
_____I finally didn't want anything to do with God and the Bible. (Most terrible thing.) I turned my back. I was shocked at myself when I got the desire to watch something I would have never dreamed of watching before. The war kept going on.
_____No one would have known, for I just put this pretty smile on my face and acted like everything was go lucky good. (Terrible, isn't it?) But I knew I was miserable. My heart was longing for something. I thought that in forsaking a Christian walk with God, I would maybe find it. But I then realized I was terribly wrong!
_____I could feel the Lord calling me and calling me to come to Him!! At times it was most strong! I just didn't know how to go about it! I knew, yes, surrender to Him; but I just didn't have the power, the will to do so. The verse in Matthew 11:28-30 kept coming to mind: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart. And ye shall find rest unto your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light!"
_____There were times I would make a couple steps to safety, but then I would turn around and make those steps back to "death"(desire of this world).
When I finally decided to give up and stop playing Christian and throw it out the door, everything just seemed to go all terribly wrong!
_____I was washing the dishes yesterday afternoon, and I asked myself, "What is wrong with me, I'm so selfish and mean! I used to be kind and love everyone. What is going on, I'm so miserable! I thought letting go on religion would make me some how 'happy.'" Then I remembered a story I had read a couple weeks ago in a YD issue, about a girl who went through the same thing I did. But after she decided to give up being a Christian and all, and everything just seemed to go wrong, she then realized how much she needed Christ in her life, how she couldn't live without Him and be truly happy. That's what happened to me. I realized how I just was not able to live without Christ, how I need Him!! How much He truly was a big part of my every day life!! How so many times I would tell Him about something, and after doing so, how much greatly better I felt!! How much I actually talked to Him and told Him things, how much I just needed Him!!
_____I then ran away, I fled from the cliff like a lamb running away from a lion who wants to kill them, I ran to the great safety of the Mighty Rock, Jesus Christ!
_____It wasn't until then, did I have peace and great joy! It wasn't until I realized my wrong in thinking I didn't need Christ and I came back to Him, did I have the victory in the great war between choosing to live for Christ or the world.
_____Even now I smile as I think about it and look back, how God led me!
_____Also one thing that kept me from turning my back all the way from Christ was how I knew my family and friends would take it. I just couldn't break their hearts so! And most of all, Christ's!
_____Praise the Lord for never forsaking me!!!!!
_____I feel ashamed to be writing this and it all being true, but let's turn away from the fact about how terrible it was for me to want nothing to do with God for that short time and let's look at how He rescued me and picked me up from that terrible pit!! Praise Him!!
_____My joy is full, but I am not to be content, I am to grow closer to God each and everyday, spending time with Him!!
_____At this time I would like to give special thanks to two good dear friends of mine: Sister C. and Sister G. for all they have said to encourage me on the Upward Journey!! God has truly spoken greatly to me through them! Thank you girls for it all! Praise the Lord!! You both are SUCH a wonderful blessing!!
_____I want to close with a Bible verse and a poem by a fellow sojourner.
_____"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise to our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3.
Oh My Lord, Help Me Now!
Oh my Lord, oh help me now,
Help me to get through this all,
Oh how my heart longs for Thee,
Oh come so very close to me.
___That I might feel Thy presence flow,
___So close to me that I shall know,
___That You have come to rescue me
___From all my sins to make me free.
To be the one
You decided me to be.
To live that all might see
That You have come to rescue me.
___And that You would gladly do the same for them,
___If they would only ask-
___And turn to You, a loving friend
___Then they shall be rescued at last;
From all their sins and be made free,
And some day soon go to Heaven bright and free,
And see our King that loves us so abundantly!
Oh thank You Lord for helping me!
___For coming to my rescue and my plea
___Your lovingkindness is all I need.
___For Lord, if You live in me,
___I will have it all, for that's what I needed.
By Sabrina, a fellow sojourner.
November 30th, 2008.
_____The Lord changed and is still changing my heart! He will do the same for you, though sinful you may be, just turn to Him, flee from that terrible cliff, (the desires and things of this world) and run to the safety of Jesus Christ!! (saving treasures in heaven.)
_____We are on an Upward Journey to a great and glorious land, let's continue on, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, and our hand in His, each step of the way!!
_____Even so, come Lord Jesus!!
Posted by: Sister K.
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